Winchester Gospel
by Tribble Master
Summary: For lo, I am the prophet CHUCK! This is the Gospel, and it tells of the days of the past. Pay attetion ye of little faith.


**beta: usmc75 **

**Winchester**** Gospel**

Chuck un-folded his rough draft of the Winchester Gospel. It was in English for now, but he figured he could translate it into an ancient, archaic, often misunderstood language later.

For now though, he just had to make sure all the facts were correct.

o-o-o-o-o

On the first day in the universe, God separated the sea from the land. Unsure of his work, God called forth the stars to advise him. They became his angels. As much as they argued, they generally agreed more was needed to decorate the land.

On the second day on the history of the planet (the name was still under construction), the angels advised God to populate this land. In the first of a series of miscommunications, God thusly created pie. The pie was golden brown, both sweet and tart, made of apples. And lo! To eat this pie was to learn of the knowledge of good and evil. God instructed his angels not to touch the pie. To make things perfectly clearly, God created the lights in the sky separating the night from day to perfectly illuminate his point.

On the third day of the Earth, for that was its new name, the archangel Gabriel tricked his younger brother, Lucifer (oft called 'Lucy' for he was an angel of little importance) to eat the pie. God's anger was great, and as he pounded his fists on the Earth the trees and the plants shot up in terror. Only one slice of the pie remained. Lucifer was banished for the first sin. After realizing his angels were capable of error, he created a new life form.

On the fourth day of the universe God created the Winchesters, and that pretty much took care of everything. God blessed the Winchesters so: The smaller of the two, though his spirit was as tall as anyone, was blessed with an easy laugh. The taller of the two, after which many trees were jealous of his height, was granted with great heart. Any kvetching from the angels was quieted, as they looked on in wonder on the first humans. Many of the female angels were happy.

On the first Thursday of the universe, God sent one of his an angels to check on Earth. His name was Castiel and he said things were going quite well. The Winchesters contradicted him however, for that is the nature of all things, and asked for girls and beer. The one of great height asked for books as well, and he had been blessed with eyes that left one incapable of saying no, so it was to be granted as well.

Once God had created the holy water and those of the female persuasion (the books were put on hold, for there was nothing to write about yet), God also created the animals. For lo, it was the sixth day and it was time to get this show on the road. The tallest, and gangliest of the Winchesters, for which there was a certain undeniable charm, chose wisely names for the animals and creatures of the sea. The shorter, yet no less handsome, of the Winchesters also helped him name the animals. His choices, valid as they were, lacked a certain intellectual theme. Ask him not of the platypus, for he will deny any involvement.

God went to thank the Winchesters and he asked of them what their names should be.

The shorter of the two, with green eyes God had chosen because they were tied to life on the Earth, spoke saying thus: "I know not what who I am, but for my brother I ask you name him Sam."

The taller of the two, with soft brown eyes God had chosen because they were grounded to reason and reality, spoke saying thus: "I know not who I am, but for my brother I ask you name him Dean."

God granted their wish. God spoke to them, thanking them for being good sports about this general business. He was new to this creation deal, after all.

As a reward for their help, the Winchesters were allowed to finish the sacred pie, which gave them both knowledge of Good and Awesome, Truth and Lies, Weaponry and Cars, and He then allowed them to leave to explore the world.

Y'know, to go do the family business.

And Bobby saw this and it was good.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Chuck shrugged. It was a start. After all, religion is always changing.

**…AMEN... **


End file.
